Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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