life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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