its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
