Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
