i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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