The maid of honor just puked.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
