She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
