That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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