So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
