Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
