it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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