Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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