Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
