That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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