a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
