Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
