he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
