Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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