chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
