Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
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She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
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btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My legs feel like baby dolphins
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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