I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
