The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, beer. Big fan.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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