it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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