he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
