I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize