I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
