Don't you send me to vm
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
