I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
