Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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