My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
