WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere