Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.