hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I pour the whiskey from now on