ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information