There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
this boner is exhausting
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".