I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
