No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm at about main and main street
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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