Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize