Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
