...so i touched it.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
this just has baby written all over it
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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