508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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