i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My bed smells like the plague
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
