I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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