she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
