I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer