He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
What's dad's email?