thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast