I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Randomize
