Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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