member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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