I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
