my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
