i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
