i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I have fence marks all over my body
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
