dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
