Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm like, not good at living.
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