we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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