She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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