You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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