There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize
