ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
